Happy National Hairball Awareness Day!

One day in Mr. Elmore's high school history class...I noticed a large hairball on the floor. Obviously someone in the previous class decided to clean out their hairbrush and discard the wad of hair by their desk. It was a slow school day so I stood up in class and announced that I would be taking up money for anyone willing to eat the hairball. I started the pot with five dollars of my own money. The hat went around the room....and we collected a total of ten bucks. Any volunteers? "I'll eat it" said a young man who sat near the door. I probably shouldn't mention his name since he is now a successful pharmacist ... but I don't want to hog all the glory. Vic went up front and was handed the hairball by the teacher. Vic twisted the hairball up tightly and tried to swallow it. When it hit the back of his throat...the hair began to unwind and he hacked it up into his hands. He twisted it up again and gave it another go. Same thing, He was gagging and half the class was as well. He gave up. "Anyone else want to try?" Oh yeah....I stepped out of my desk/chair and proceeded to the front of the class. I took the soggy wad of hair and asked classmate E.B. Roth for her bubble gum. She handed it to me and I wrapped it around the hairball. Some cried foul but I asked them if they would like to try swallowing it and they quieted down. I popped the bubble gum wrapped hairball into my mouth and swallowed. It got stuck halfway down. I was in trouble. Mr. Elmore grabbed a nearly empty 32 ounce soda bottle out of the trash and I downed what I hoped was soda and not tobacco spit. Score....pure RC and no ambeer! I took the money...half of it my own... and then took my seat. "OK class...today we are going to take a look at the Battle of Antietam"...and the rest is .....well....history! Happy Hairball Awareness Day!